The Typical Zutara Cliche
by Caspre
Summary: Calling Kataang AND Zutara Fans: Are you SICK and TIRED of allll those Zutara I-hate-you-whoops-i-love-you Cliches? This little fic is just a JOKE to lighten the load ;D feel free to yell at me, Zutarians, it'll make it more hilarious! Twoshot
1. Chapter 1

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**The Typical Zutara Cliché**

**By Caspre (**who just loves to take the piss**)**

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For reasons that we MUSN'T question, the Prince of Flames and muscular talent, Zuko and the Ice Queen and beautiful warrior, Katara found themselves trapped in an desolate room in the middle of nowhere together, alone, with no means of escape in the near future.

Katara glared at her nemesis with such blaze in her eyes, Zuko almost remarked that she looked close to a Fire Bender. However, he was too disgusted at her presence to compliment her in any way.

Fire and water can never mix; one must always conquer the other. They knew this much as their blood hammered through their veins, and their fists clenched into claws.

They stood at a stubborn distance, both scrutinizing each other in silence.

It was Zuko who spoke first, in his curious accent and dusted voice.

"So we finally meet face to face. And we're not fighting this time."

"Not _yet._" Katara corrected him fiercely, her chest heaving as adrenaline fizzled through her.

_It's my chance…_she thought to herself, _It's time I finally told the bastard what I think of him._

"You're an _evil _person!" She cried abruptly, and was silent again, not quite sure what to do next. Zuko watched her for a moment, unimpressed.

"I was expecting something a bit more original?" He goaded.

"UGH!" Katara scoffed, shooting him a look of disgust.

They stood in silence in the room that only held a fireplace and a few blankets crumpled in the corner. Still keeping one eye on the girl that he despised, Zuko gave a tremendous punch and lit the fireplace. Katara jumped at the sudden bending and hardened her stance.

"Oh please, I'm not about to fight you." Zuko said, rolling his eyes. Katara only tensed further.

"You're getting over-excited-"

"I'M CALM!" She yelled. Suddenly, Zuko's laughter rang around the stingy walls. Katara slackened in disbelief.

"You…just laughed." She told him.

"Evidently." Zuko said dryly.

"You…laugh?"

"I was aware that most humans had the ability to-"

"Stop getting smart with me." She snapped, "It's just a surprise that's all…" She thought for a moment, "It wasn't even an evil laugh." Disbelief coloured her tone.

Zuko looked at her as if she had suddenly changed into a lemon.

"What's the obsession with me laughing? What, you thought that the Fire Nation don't have souls?"

Silence. Katara looked away.

"You're kidding!"

"You hear stories sometimes!" She protested bright pink in the face at Zuko's shock at her being so gullible.

"Well, _I _heard that Water Tribe scavengers believe anything they hear-"

SMACK!  
The Fire Nation Prince stumbled backwards, clutching a red spot that was glowing exactly between his eyes, where a water-whip had just struck. Katara gathered her water back into its pouch, but didn't completely banish the thought of brandishing it once more.

Breathing slightly harder, Zuko lowered his hand and glared at her. She found that she couldn't look at him for more than two seconds; his golden eyes were just _too _intense.

"I won't fight you…" He repeated quietly and calmly, his voice gifted with a touch of something different, like the sound of shingle being washed away by the waves on a beach.

Katara found her body temperature considerably higher than it had been a few moments before.

_It must be the heat of the fire._ She dismissed, watching Zuko closely for any sudden movements.

_Ah to hell with it! _She cried in her head and lunged for him, tearing her water from her pouch as she moved with agility and grace. Zuko wasn't surprised; he had been waiting for the proud Water Bender to get big-headed.

In one swift motion, he flicked a rope of fire through her water, evaporating it in the blink of an eye. She stopped abruptly, stumbling slightly from the sudden halt, surprise filling her eyes. She stood only a couple of feet away from him, rigid with anticipation, anger and fear.

"If you weren't being so reckless you could have effortlessly avoided that move," Zuko said, but without a trace of scorn in his voice, "I've seen you fight, I've fought you myself, and you're very advanced."

Instead of weakening, Katara only hardened.

"It's no time for sweet-talk," She dismissed heatedly, "I know it's just another mind game like your sisters'."

"I'm nothing like my sister." Zuko retorted harshly, and for once his fiery eyes turned cold and distant.

"Are you sure? I've seen you fight dirty, Zuko- tricking me into thinking that you had changed back in the caves in Ba Sing Se!" Katara shouted dramatically, becoming angry again, her gestures becoming more violent and aggressive with every word, "But then you double-crossed us and your sister nearly killed Aang!"

Zuko was lost for words, and to his surprise, he felt the guilt crash down on him like heavy waves.

But before he had any time to explain, Katara had seized his shoulders, hooked her foot around his ankle and taken it out from under him.

They crashed to the floor.

"I can play mind games too, Zuko." She enlightened him, a sly smile on her face. However, her smirk disappeared in almost a second when she realized that she was lying on top of him...

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**ZING!**

**(**To Be Continued...obvs.**)**

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	2. Chapter 2

**Part Deux ;D**

"Uuuuuuh…" Katara gargled, her face bright red, and not from the heat of the fire. Zuko's eyes were wide as they bore into hers…

"You're on _top of me._" He states loudly, killing the mood.

"RIGHT! Yes!" And she leaps off him, straightening her Water Tribe robe and touching her pink cheeks.

Zuko sat up, watching her with a raised eyebrow.

_What the hell just happened?! _They thought in unison.

"I still hate you." Katara said suddenly.

"Obviously."

"Do you always have to be so rude?"

"Do you always have to ask questions?"

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Ugh…"

They turned away from each other and folded their arms. The atmosphere was as heated as the blood pulsing through their veins.

"So…" Zuko said, "We're gonna be stuck in here for a long time aren't we?"

"_Now_ whose asking questions?"  
"Still you." He pointed out, rolling his eyes.

"SHH!" She hissed wildly, "...Did you hear that?"

"Is this supposed to be changing the subject? By the way, that was another question you just asked-"

"SHH!" She repeated, slapping his arm as she cupped her ear, "Can't you hear that?"

Silence.

"No."

"It's Appa!" She shrieked in delight, looking up to the ceiling as if she could see the Air Bison slicing through the sky towards her. Zuko looked at her, seriously considering if she'd bumped her head after her little stunt.

"You know, that dumb Teddy Bear can't save you _every _timeyou get in a pickle." He pointed out, "As much as you want to believe it…"

She just maintained that posture, leaning upwards, hand cupping ear, bright smile as she waited for Appa to smash through the roof with the rest of the GAang.

"…Seriously- not coming."

She snapped out of it, and glared at him disdainfully.

"You know, yo-"

"If this is going to be yet another tantrum, I'm pretty much OK with giving it a miss." Zuko assured her, dusting off his clothes with disinterest and getting to his feet.

Katara watched as his muscles flexed, her mouth hanging down ever so slightly. Unfortunately Zuko caught her watching and raised an eyebrow. However, Katara's attention span was engaged, so to speak so what did she do? Yup. Kept on oggling.

Not being able to resist any longer, Zuko reached forward and used the side of his finger to push her chin up so it closed her mouth. She leapt back, raising her arms and her hair practically standing on end.

"_Stay…AWAY from me_!" She threatened. Zuko suppressed a snigger.

"Caught you looking." He teased dryly.

"You really _didn't_." She denied, looking away, her warrior stance forgotten out of shame.

"Why, because that Stick of an Avatar is so much buffer than me?"

"Why do you care?" She challenged, turning to face him, her eyes blazing.

"I…I don't." The tables had turned; Zuko found himself spluttering like an idiot. Katara smirked.

They couldn't fight for much longer…

But still, they continued. I mean, the directors would be PISSED!

So they decided to resort to the basics, I'm afraid.

"You're so shrill, a Moose Puppy couldn't hear you." Zuko shot, and Katara gladly replied:

"You've got a face only your mother could love!"

"Huh! Well at least I don't have permanent PMS!" He spat, as they began to circle, like wild wolves, going back to their instincts, their primitive states…rawr…

"You could've fooled me!" Katara retorted, "You stamped your foot like a school girl every time Aang outsmarted you!"

The insults grew shorter, quicker (and less inspired) as they were fired back and forth like bullets.

"SHREW!"

"FREAK!"

"PEASANT!"

"SNOB!"

"You're Nickolodeon's answer to Godzilla!" Zuko yelled.

"You're Nickolodeon's answer to Harry Potter!" Katara shrieked.

Zuko scowled and stepped closer, hoping to intimidate her, but she stood her ground, looking up at him as her eyes shone with rage.

"All you care about is bossing people about!"

"All you care about is the Avatar!" She hissed.

"Oh that's rich! As if you don't!" Zuko scoffed.

"Shut up! You don't know anything!"

"I know one thing." He growled, placing a hand at the small of her back and pressing her against him. (ooh er) Katara squeaked as she slowly raised her head until their noses bumped. His hot breath mingled with hers as they breathed heavily.

And, obviously, they kissed. (Hallelujah Chorus)

It was fiery, it was passionate, it was everything in the ingredients of a Zutarian Kiss. All the bending in the world could not pry them apart. They were one, they were beautiful, they were reckless.

They were Zuko and Katara, possibly the most popular pairing in Avatar.

But- due to silly things like, oh, I don't know, breathing-they separated, and tried to work out how they got to this stage.

"You know…one thing?" Katara prompted in a small voice.

"Yeah," Zuko breathed, as his golden eyes melted into hers, "That's probably the one way on earth to get you to shut up."

And he had a point.

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**The End**

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**Hope I didn't insult anyone :D**


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